Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
well you can't waste a boner
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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