Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think people are normalizing furries
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
