And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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