I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize