she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize