there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize