They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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