I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
