Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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