Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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