He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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