ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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