I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
