So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
