It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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