Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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