They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
