I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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