my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
