I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
