My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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