i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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