she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i now understand why vodka
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
