I only kidnapped one of them. chill
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
