I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
