people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize