Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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