Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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