roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
