I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize