I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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