Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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