Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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