dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize