do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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