Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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