My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
