dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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