So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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