his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
