Dual....:-)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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