my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
