woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Let's get the cat blown out
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
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