I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
