when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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