I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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