woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
