I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's never too late to be topless.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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