so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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