I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
