Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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