Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
you inspire me to be a worse person
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize