Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
