This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
