just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize