butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
