Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
