Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
